her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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