i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
