you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i now understand why vodka
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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