I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
They are going to name an STD after you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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