so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I will be naked everywhere
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
