Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize