: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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