Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
