Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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