keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
