i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
