Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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