Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
