I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
