I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
