He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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