If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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