thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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