Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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