Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
