No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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