Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
