Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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