Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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