she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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