One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had sex on a roof
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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