he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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