whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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