Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
