No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
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I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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