I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
two words: eviction party
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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