My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
