discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
