4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
