I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
