i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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