problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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