He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
