the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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