I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
