A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
