Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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