he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
