hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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