It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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