My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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