Rock
Scissors
Fuck
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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