If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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