i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
