I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
