this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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