I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
