That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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