So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
do herpes really smell.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
