This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
