The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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