***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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