at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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